........................................SCOTTMINNIEAR@GMAIL.COM...............EMAIL NOW!.........REAL SCOTTS ARE STANDING BY TO TALK TO !!!YOU!!!......................................................................................................15% OFF HOMEGOODS TODAY ONLY USING CODE #EXPLODINGWEBSITESETTLEMENT……………………………..........................…...………………………………….......................………………............................……………..........................………………..........................………………..................![]()
ALL ANIMALS HAVE ESCAPED FROM *BOTH* LOCAL ZOOS. PLEASE SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY. AND DON’T BLOW THIS OFF THINKING IT’S JUST THE ANIMALS AT THE OTHER ZOO LIKE IT USUALLY IS--IT’S BOTH ZOOS THIS TIME…………………………………………..……………………………..……………………………..…………………………..![]()
THE TAKE YOUR CHILD TO WORK DAY FIREWORKS WILL CONTINUE AT 4 PM DESPITE THE TYPHOON MAKING LANDFALL..........................................................![]()
CITY COUNCIL IS LAUNCHING A NEW INITIATIVE URGING RESIDENTS TO REPLACE THE TRADITIONAL GREETING OF “HI” WITH THE PHRASE: “THE ZOO BY YOU BUT MY ZOO TOO” TO SPREAD AWARENESS THAT ALL THE ANIMALS HAVE ESCAPED FROM ***BOTH*** OUR TOWN’S ZOOS. THERE STILL SEEMS TO BE SOME MISUNDERSTANDING OR JUST GENERAL APATHY ABOUT THIS, BUT REST ASSURED, THE TIGERS AND SOME OF THE MORE AGGRESSIVE AND CARNIVOROUS CATS THAT ESCAPED CERTAINLY AREN’T APATHETIC ABOUT IT–THEY’RE HAVING THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES OUT THERE! REMEMBER, NO MATTER WHICH SIDE OF TOWN YOU LIVE ON, ALL THE ANIMALS HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE ZOO CLOSEST TO YOU, AS WELL AS THE OTHER ZOO.........................................................................................................................…………………………………..![]()
BELOVED CREEKSIDE RESIDENT BETTY BATES TURNED 121 YEARS OLD YESTERDAY! NATURALLY THE CITIZENS TOOK UP ARMS AND STORMED THE NURSING HOME TO RID OUR PURE COMMUNITY OF HER ETERNAL, OBVIOULY-VAMPIRIC PRESENCE. BUT “APPLE PIE” BETTY, AS DECADES OF HER ADORING GRADE SCHOOL STUDENTS CALLED HER, HAD DISAPPEARED BY THE TIME THE MOB ARRIVED…………………………………..…………………………………..…………………………………..…………………………………..![]()
AN ANONYMOUS WITNESS CLAIMS NONE OF THE OUTLAWS ACTUALLY WENT INSIDE THE NURSING HOME BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID OF BEING TURNED INTO “GRAMPIRES,” SO BETTY BATES MAY STILL BE INSIDE AND MAY OR MAY NOT ACTUALLY BE A VAMPIRE...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................![]()
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ALL ANIMALS HAVE ESCAPED FROM *BOTH* LOCAL ZOOS. PLEASE SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY. AND DON’T BLOW THIS OFF THINKING IT’S JUST THE ANIMALS AT THE OTHER ZOO LIKE IT USUALLY IS--IT’S BOTH ZOOS THIS TIME…………………………………………..……………………………..……………………………..…………………………..
THE TAKE YOUR CHILD TO WORK DAY FIREWORKS WILL CONTINUE AT 4 PM DESPITE THE TYPHOON MAKING LANDFALL..........................................................
CITY COUNCIL IS LAUNCHING A NEW INITIATIVE URGING RESIDENTS TO REPLACE THE TRADITIONAL GREETING OF “HI” WITH THE PHRASE: “THE ZOO BY YOU BUT MY ZOO TOO” TO SPREAD AWARENESS THAT ALL THE ANIMALS HAVE ESCAPED FROM ***BOTH*** OUR TOWN’S ZOOS. THERE STILL SEEMS TO BE SOME MISUNDERSTANDING OR JUST GENERAL APATHY ABOUT THIS, BUT REST ASSURED, THE TIGERS AND SOME OF THE MORE AGGRESSIVE AND CARNIVOROUS CATS THAT ESCAPED CERTAINLY AREN’T APATHETIC ABOUT IT–THEY’RE HAVING THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES OUT THERE! REMEMBER, NO MATTER WHICH SIDE OF TOWN YOU LIVE ON, ALL THE ANIMALS HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE ZOO CLOSEST TO YOU, AS WELL AS THE OTHER ZOO.........................................................................................................................…………………………………..
BELOVED CREEKSIDE RESIDENT BETTY BATES TURNED 121 YEARS OLD YESTERDAY! NATURALLY THE CITIZENS TOOK UP ARMS AND STORMED THE NURSING HOME TO RID OUR PURE COMMUNITY OF HER ETERNAL, OBVIOULY-VAMPIRIC PRESENCE. BUT “APPLE PIE” BETTY, AS DECADES OF HER ADORING GRADE SCHOOL STUDENTS CALLED HER, HAD DISAPPEARED BY THE TIME THE MOB ARRIVED…………………………………..…………………………………..…………………………………..…………………………………..
AN ANONYMOUS WITNESS CLAIMS NONE OF THE OUTLAWS ACTUALLY WENT INSIDE THE NURSING HOME BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID OF BEING TURNED INTO “GRAMPIRES,” SO BETTY BATES MAY STILL BE INSIDE AND MAY OR MAY NOT ACTUALLY BE A VAMPIRE...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
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