IHOP 
Limited Time Deals

 ........................................SCOTTMINNIEAR@GMAIL.COM...............EMAIL NOW.........REAL SCOTTS ARE STANDING BY TO TALK TO !!!YOU!!!......................................................................................................................................15% OFF HOMEGOODS TODAY ONLY!!! USE CODE #EXPLODINGWEBSITESETTLEMENT AT CHECKOUT…………………………..........................…...………………………………….......................………………............................……………..........................………………..........................……………….................. ALL ANIMALS HAVE ESCAPED FROM *BOTH* LOCAL ZOOS. PLEASE SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY. AND DON’T BLOW THIS OFF THINKING IT’S JUST THE ANIMALS AT THE OTHER ZOO LIKE IT USUALLY IS--IT’S BOTH ZOOS THIS TIME…………………………………………..……………………………..……………………………..………………………….. THE TAKE YOUR CHILD TO WORK DAY FIREWORKS WILL CONTINUE AT 4 PM DESPITE THE TYPHOON MAKING LANDFALL.................................................................................................................... BELOVED CREEKSIDE RESIDENT BETTY BATES TURNED 106 YEARS OLD YESTERDAY! NATURALLY THE CITIZENS TOOK UP ARMS AND STORMED BETTY’S NURSING HOME TO RID OUR PURE COMMUNITY OF HER ETERNAL, OBVIOULY-VAMPIRIC PRESENCE. BUT “APPLE PIE” BETTY, AS DECADES OF HER HYPNOTIZED GRADE SCHOOL STUDENTS CALLED HER, HAD DISAPPEARED BY THE TIME THE MOB ARRIVED. ONE ESPECIALLY LOUD MEMBER OF THE MOB CLAIMS TO HAVE SEEN “A GREY HAIRED BAT DRAGGING ASS TOWARD THE MOON. AND I THINK IT HAD READERS ON TOO.” THIS CLAIM REMAINS UNCOMFIRMED…………………..…………………………………………..………………………. CITY COUNCIL IS LAUNCHING A NEW INITIATIVE URGING RESIDENTS TO REPLACE THE TRADITIONAL GREETING OF “HI” WITH THE PHRASE: “THE ZOO BY YOU BUT MY ZOO TOO” TO SPREAD AWARENESS THAT ALL THE ANIMALS HAVE ESCAPED FROM ***BOTH*** OUR TOWN’S ZOOS. THERE STILL SEEMS TO BE SOME MISUNDERSTANDING OR JUST GENERAL APATHY TOWARD THIS, BUT REST ASSURED, THE TIGERS AND SOME OF THE MORE AGGRESSIVE  AND CARNIVOROUS CATS THAT ESCAPED AREN’T APATHETIC--THEY’RE HAVING THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES OUT THERE! SO PLEASE, ALWAYS REMEMBER, NO MATTER WHICH SIDE OF TOWN YOU LIVE ON, ALL THE ANIMALS HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE ZOO CLOSEST TO YOU, AS WELL AS THE OTHER ZOO.........................................................................................................................………………………………….....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................   . ..      .. ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................    ..      ..      .       ... .....    . .   ....           .......           ............... ..  ... .. ...... ......................................................................................................................................................................................  .. .  ..    ..         .. .  .    ..   .   .   .. .    . .. ...     .  .     ...     .... ....... ......   .......  ..........................      ... ..  .................. .................... ....    ..  ..   .